The following is a piece of writing that I had written for my last unit of A-Level Art, using the theme of Growth and Evolution - focusing on the elderly and mental decay. I feel that it is a window into the world of dementia and care work, I hope it as powerful and eye opening as I wanted it to be and I appreciate anyone taking the time to fully read and comprehend morals that I am trying to convey.
I have constructed an external piece of
work from an internal connection of developing my own individual sense of age
and growing older, this has been heavily influenced by my place of work and the
people I have been fortunate enough to meet and learn about. I have decided to
focus on the concept of nostalgia, personal memories and life achievements in
relation to the theme of growth and development of individual’s lives,
including exploring aspects of sentimentality and mental decay within humans.
I decided to examine and investigate these themes of the
philosophy of age correlating to intimate details of individual’s lives at the
care home that I currently work at because since working there I have been
introduced to completely new style of viewing the world that we live in and how
we spend our time here. I have been in contact with so many individuals and
characters who are sadly affected by dementia in a variety of ways, their
behaviour and mental states have inspired me to express my own thoughts and
perspectives using a medium that I hope reaches out to others and highlights
the heartache I at times experience.
Many of the residents that I work with have decaying
memories, there are a handful of people who regularly forget they are a
resident, living at the care home with their own room and have been so for a
number of months or even years. During my teatime shifts, after clearing up and
cleaning the dining rooms, there are a few of the residents who consistently
ask questions such “When is the next bus home?” or “Can you let me out to my
car?” - thinking that they have just finished a meal in a café. One lady in
particular who does this is Ellen, she regularly asks when the next bus to East
Sheen is, a place in London she used to live. Carers repeatedly explain to
Ellen that she has a room at the home and is to stay the night, and that there
is no ‘bus to East Sheen from Stowmarket’. Ellen often becomes very distressed
and confused, clarifying that she must return home to see her mother, unable to
comprehend the situation.
Andy is also another resident who lingers around the main
entrance, determined to leave. Andy often paces about near the windows, peering
outside at the cars and then asking if he can be let outside to have a look at
the cars and see which is his, of course none are. Andy is an individual that
has been significantly aggressive in the past, demanding to let out to return
home, he constantly pleads to staff that he “has a family to go to” and cannot
understand why we are unable to let him out without one of his relatives.
Seeing these people grow so distressed, delirious and so adamant on disheartens
me and is something I find very saddening to see, it is sometimes visible to
see their minds ticking over – their thought processes as they become more and
more anxious and agitated.
Palliative or ‘End-of-life’ care is also a system that takes
place at the home, many of the residents and their families decide that they
want their relative to pass away peacefully at the home, whether that be with
the aid of hospice nurses to administer the appropriate medication or also the
staff who they know well and who care for them. This process highlights the
philosophical theory of transience and entropy, theories of which focus on the
gradual decline into disorder and stating how all is lasting for only a short
time.
These ideas bring me to a quote that Rilke said regarding the
impermanence of life and everything in it; “One
day all of this is going to die, all these trees and all these plants, all this
life is going to decay. Everything dissolves in meaningless.” This quote
also relates to theories of entropy, hinting at how there is a sadness to
ecstasy and happiness – that we love harder and squeeze harder, pretending that
we don’t care that everything and everyone we know is going to be taken away
from us.
I would like to end by recalling a quote from Dyan Thomas,
of which has been one of the main hymns to my creative writing “I will not go quietly into that good night
but instead will rage against the dying of the light” In my works I have
altered the first few words slightly, changing it to “Do not”, as if to add a
sense of guidance or advice in response to experience of working at the care
home. This phrase conveys a strong meaning of not being passive to the world
around us – to take every opportunity and make the most of the cards we have
been dealt.
Life exists in individual moments and it is up to us to make
sure they are vast, interconnected and grand, and these are sentiments that I
have learnt through my own personal development, assisted by all the people in
my life. Using Annie Chapman as an example, an individual who despite her
dementia is still able to recall memories that have significant meaning to her,
illustrating how important moments and meaningful events can be so symbolic
that they are retained in the mind always.
